Putting together an estate plan is a very personal process. Most people don’t feel the need to share the details of their will or trust with everyone they know—and that’s completely understandable. What you decide to do with your money, property, and legacy is private.
If you have a spouse or partner, you might have created your plan together. But should anyone else know what’s in it?
The short answer: yes—at least a few people should.
While it makes sense to keep some things private, keeping too much to yourself can cause trouble later. Your plan can only work if the right people know it exists and can access what they need, when they need it. Simply telling someone what you’d like to happen isn’t enough—your wishes have to be written down and properly shared.
Why It’s Okay to Keep Some Things Private
There are good reasons people choose not to share every detail of their estate plan.
If your plan is based on a will, your estate will go through probate—a public court process that can make your estate information part of the public record. That’s one reason many Arizonans prefer to use a trust-based plan, which keeps things more private.
Even within your own family, it’s common to want to avoid awkward conversations or hurt feelings about who’s included or who gets what. You might also want to make your decisions without being influenced by others’ opinions.
Those are valid reasons for privacy—but keeping your entire plan under wraps can backfire. The key is to find a healthy balance between privacy and practicality
A Simple Way to Think About It: Share in Layers
You don’t have to give everyone a copy of your documents. Instead, think of sharing your plan in layers—making sure each person has just the information they need, when they need it.
This approach keeps things organized, prevents confusion, and helps your loved ones carry out your wishes with confidence when the time comes.
Tier One: Your Trusted Decision-Makers
(They get full access.)
These are the people you’ve legally appointed to act on your behalf. They might include:
- Your spouse or partner (especially if you own property together or planned jointly)
- Your executor or personal representative (handles your will and probate if needed)
- Your trustee or successor trustee (manages trust property)
- Your financial power of attorney (handles money and property if you can’t)
- Your healthcare power of attorney (makes medical decisions if you can’t)
- A guardian for minor children (cares for your kids if you’re unable to)
What to Share:
- Where to find your estate planning documents (originals, copies, or digital files)
- How to access them (safe deposit box, home safe, or online storage)
- A list of what you own—accounts, property, businesses, digital assets, and personal belongings
- Special instructions for unique items (pets, family heirlooms, firearms, business interests)
- Your estate planning attorney’s contact information
- The “big picture” of your wishes and goals
When to Tell Them:
- As soon as you appoint them
- Any time you make changes or move your documents
- Periodically, to confirm they’re still willing and able to help
Why It Matters:
Your trusted helpers can’t step in if they don’t know they’ve been named—or where to start. Confusion and delays can lead to unnecessary costs, stress, and even family tension.
How to Share:
- Meet in person or over video to explain their role
- Give them a simple “roadmap” of what to do and who to contact
- Provide secure digital access to important files
- Confirm they understand and are comfortable taking on the role
Tier Two: Your Beneficiaries
(They get selective, need-to-know access.)
Your beneficiaries are the people or organizations you’ve chosen to inherit from you. This might include:
- Your spouse, children, or other relatives
- Friends, charities, or religious groups
- Schools or nonprofits
You might also want to talk to loved ones who expect to inherit—even if you’ve decided to leave them out or treat them differently. These can be uncomfortable conversations, but addressing things now can prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings later.
What to Share:
- What kind of gift they’ll receive (money, property, personal items, etc.)
- Any responsibilities that come with it (like taxes or upkeep)
- The fact that they can choose not to accept the inheritance if they wish
When to Talk:
- Sooner, if the gift is complicated or might require preparation
- Later, if it’s simple—but don’t wait until it’s too late
Why It Helps:
- Reduces surprises and confusion
- Gives them time to plan ahead
- Lets you make adjustments if a gift may be declined or difficult to manage
How to Handle It:
- Have a personal conversation or share the details in writing
- Be clear about any expectations or conditions
- If the topic feels sensitive, your attorney can help guide or even participate in the discussion
What Happens If You Don’t Share Enough
When no one knows what’s in your plan—or where to find it—things can go wrong fast. Common problems include:
- Locked-out executor: No one can access your will in the bank’s safe deposit box.
- Forgotten passwords: Important digital files are lost forever.
- Missing trustee: The person you appointed moved years ago and can’t be reached.
- Unwanted gift: A loved one can’t afford to maintain what you left them.
- Family conflict: Loved ones argue over which version of your will is valid.
Finding the Right Balance
Estate planning isn’t just about documents—it’s about protecting your loved ones and making things easier for them in the future.
The best estate plans include a simple communication strategy: share the right information with the right people at the right time. That balance between privacy and clarity is what makes your plan truly effective.
Talk with Us
At The Law Offices of Glenn Bishop, PLLC, we help Arizona families create clear, well-structured estate plans—and communication is always part of the process. We’ll work with you to decide how much to share, who to tell, and when to have those conversations, so your wishes are understood and carried out just the way you intend.
If you’d like to talk about how to share your estate plan wisely, contact our office today to schedule a consultation.