Bringing up estate planning with your parents can feel uncomfortable. You don’t want to come across as pushy, but you also know how important it is to make sure they have a plan in place. Without one, families can face unnecessary stress, expenses, and even conflict. So how do you start the conversation in a way that is caring and respectful?
#1 – Focus on Their Wishes, Not the Inheritance
One of the easiest ways to make parents defensive is to talk about “what you’re getting.” Instead, frame the conversation around making sure their wishes are honored. For example:
- “I just want to make sure things happen the way you’d want.”
- “It would give us peace of mind knowing we’re following your plan.”
This approach keeps the focus where it belongs—on your parents’ values and preferences.
#2 – Share Your Own Experience
Sometimes the best way to break the ice is to talk about yourself. If you’ve recently updated your own estate plan, you might say:
“We just did our estate planning, and it made me realize how important it is. Have you thought about doing something similar?”
By sharing your experience, you’re not telling them what to do—you’re simply opening a door to the topic.
#3 – Ask About Practical Concerns
Parents often respond better to questions about practical issues rather than legal jargon. For example:
- “If something happened and you couldn’t make decisions, who would you want to speak for you?”
- “Do you want to stay in your home as long as possible, or would you be open to other options later?”
These conversations naturally lead into topics like powers of attorney, healthcare directives, and trusts, but without sounding intimidating.
#4 – Emphasize the Gift of Planning
Remind your parents that estate planning isn’t just about money—it’s about reducing stress for the family. A clear plan is a gift that spares loved ones from tough decisions during emotional times. Framing it this way often helps parents see estate planning as an act of love, not just a legal task.
#5 – Suggest Professional Help
Sometimes, the hardest part for parents is not knowing where to start. You can gently suggest meeting with an estate planning attorney who can walk them through their options. An attorney provides guidance while keeping the focus on your parents’ goals, not anyone else’s.
Final Thoughts
Talking to your parents about estate planning doesn’t have to feel pushy. If you keep the focus on their wishes, share your own experiences, and approach the conversation with care, you can help them take an important step toward peace of mind—for them and for the entire family.
At the Law Offices of Glenn Bishop, PLLC, we help Arizona families build estate plans that cover every aspect of life.